Finding Hope and Healing: A Family’s Journey with Serenity Renewal
I have never known a life without the direct and corrosive effects of alcohol abuse. All four of my grandparents had problems with alcohol, and both of my parents have been sober for over 30 years, having quit drinking after a family crisis. I grew up watching my parents drink on a daily basis and absorbed this reality. I internalized it as the forward trajectory of my life. I would use alcohol to cope with life. I started drinking at the age of 13 and fell in love immediately.
While I did not drink for that long, I was always a problem drinker. I knew that I needed to stop drinking, but did not know how.
By the grace of God, I had been watching my parents attend recovery meetings. I saw how they were happier without alcohol and had new coping mechanisms. I started attending meetings, and somehow, have stayed sober for over 25 years since my first meeting.
I have lived a lot of life in this time, traveling out of Canada for both work and study. I have been equipped with tools from a program of recovery, as well as wonderful relationships and a sense of community that has sustained me. I have learned that we do not have to do this life alone, especially when the inevitable challenges hit us.
And it is these skills and relationships that carried me through when I found myself in an abusive relationship. It happened slowly, so slowly that I didn’t realize I had lost myself as a result of the abuse. By that time, I had two young children, who I always call my natural anti-depressants. They brought me joy and peace on a daily basis, but I was still drowning amongst the constant criticism and the stifling control of an abusive relationship.
I knew I needed to leave when it started to become physically threatening towards me and my children. It was not easy to leave. In fact, it has been the hardest choice I have ever had to make in my life. I planned and saved money for several years and, luckily, was able to leave safely with my two children.
We had been living overseas, so we arrived in Canada one warm summer evening with two suitcases and not much else. My best friend picked me up and took me in. I was barely able to function, so broken I was. My mother suggested I get connected with Serenity Renewal for Families, as it had helped countless people in her circles over the years. I made that call in August, and from then on, I felt like I had found a new family and a new way of life.
I felt immediately protected and cared for as I tried to navigate this new life. I was barely able to speak due to the trauma, anxiety, and lack of self-esteem. I could barely make decisions or function in daily life. I was a broken person who was trying to put myself back together. Serenity Renewal for Families was instrumental in this rebuilding process, spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially.
As I was unemployed when I arrived, finances were tight, but Serenity Renewal for Families’ sliding fee scale allowed me to connect with the most lovely, caring counsellor who was the perfect match for me. Together, we worked through my overwhelming feelings. I learned that what I had experienced was domestic abuse and about the concept of coercive control. That was revelatory for me and reframed everything, allowing me to feel stronger and clearer. I understood better what I had been through and that it was not my fault. I understood that I had made the right decision, and I was able to build my strength with the help of my counsellor so that I found a job and was able to begin putting together a new life.
It was also suggested that I enroll myself and my children in the family programs available through Serenity Renewal for Families. We attended B.A.B.E.S., as well as Strengthening Families. I can say without a doubt that both programs have fortified my bond with my children. We were given invaluable skills that I was not able to impart to my children prior, as I was just trying to survive. I was also parenting with someone who undermined my confidence as a mother and any decisions I made.
The family programs have also proven invaluable for my children. Both are now able to articulate their feelings, they are more confident and assertive, and our bond has never been stronger. We picked up many tools that we use to this day to keep our little family as a tight unit. And of course, my children learned many skills and tools to keep me accountable. They were able to navigate a major and traumatic transition with beauty and grace and relatively little disruption in their new life.
I can say without reservation that without Serenity Renewal for Families’ intervention in my life and the kindness, knowledge, and experience of the staff, my family would not be as strong and functional as it is today. I can also extrapolate this truth to the community as a whole. I have known many people personally who have benefited from the resources and relationships available through Serenity Renewal for Families. At a time when it is becoming increasingly difficult to obtain help in a crisis, Serenity Renewal for Families serves as a lifeline for thousands of people in the region, myself included.
Thank you for donating and supporting families like mine.
Sincerely,
A grateful Mom
P.S. Please donate today and help others like me who couldn’t afford to pay for the services our family needed so desperately. Thanks to a generous donor, gifts for the first $30,000 will be matched.
